Forever loved and missed

As we walked towards the coffin, Jes was there and I gave her a hug. Bridgette handed us a pen each. The white coffin was already full of scribblings of heart-felt words for KT. The memory of Bridgette inscribed in my mind is the 5-year old girl sitting astride on KT's shoulders as he paced about outside St Theresa convent waiting for Beatrice.

I walked closer and thought of what to write. "Forever loved and missed. RIP." I wrote and stepped forward to look at the face that looked nothing like KT. A tv screen was looping pictures of KT. I looked at the pictures for a while and went to sit with the gang. 

I got a spot with a view during the service so that I could see all the pictures. At first I was smiling to myself a lot. KT is always full of mischief, like an overgrown schoolboy. Afterwards when it came to the later stage of his cancer, I was tearing instead. He was reduced to half the man he once was, the sparkle in his eyes drained from him. 

Jes was still the strong woman she's always been. She spoke steadily, sometimes with mirth, reading the unusually formal message that KT has written for us. 

We grew to know Jes because of KT and even more so when he started becoming unwell. And I am constantly inspired by their strength, as individuals and as a couple.

Three days later, at the funeral service, she spoke about her loss but also her resolution to continue to live well. Like the force behind the warrior, she called upon us to applaud the hero who fought a good battle. 

At the end of the funeral service, we were invited to lay flowers upon KT's body. I picked an elegant white rose lightly stained at the edges and walked towards him. The coffin was totally open, which I thought was very unusual. I approached him calmly but as I was about to lay the rose on his chest, tears started streaming uncontrollably. KT didn't like too much drama and fuss but there I was, like many others around me, sobbing uncontrollably like a child. 

"Thank you KT" was all I managed. For all the guidance, love and warmth he has showed as a boss, mentor and a sincere friend.