Poem from the Past

Fei has moved so many times in her life that she can't
remember all the details of her houses and the people
who lived in them.

One day, she moves again.

Crossing the empty country, she starts to remember.
She remembers every detail, every beam and wall
and door and furniture; every person and ghost
who lived in them.

She remembers houses in the sea.
She remembers a boat washed ashore.
She knows she has lived in them,
in another country, in another time.
She just can't remember herself in them.

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This is a poem entitled Furnitur, which I found on a programme booklet of a performance by Drama Box which I had kept since years ago. Something I had found as I was undertaking a small spring-cleaning exercise today. When I saw the poem, it seems to speak to me, like it has found me, rather than that I had found it.

I have always pondered, do I remember what I was like playing different roles along the different phases of my life? I couldn't have been the same as the person I am now, people change right? But I can't recall how I was like then. I'm not sure if it's the same with everybody else...

Like the poem, we're like Fei, moving from one phase of life to the next. We remember places and faces, but we don't exactly remember what we were like then. Sometimes I feel that I've been trapped in a figment of my childhood, time has moved and I haven't. It's still me and I haven't changed. I dont' really know but I guess we never will.

Beautiful People

Today I went to a special school to volunteer. I never believed in volunteering, honestly. I've always felt some form of dissonance about helping others. If you can't even help the people closest to you, what makes you think you can help others?

However, as part of a service learning workshop, we've been volunteered to volunteer at the AWWA special school, which I have no objections to. My only fear is that I would not know how to relate to the children and may end up being nothing more than an awkward volunteer.

To my disappointment, the promised orientation briefing did not take place and we were immediately thrown into the class and were simply made to "go with the flow" of the classroom activities. Teacher Jeael was nice enough to try to make me comfortable, allowing me to help and giving me snippets of information about the children.

The children are from the non-dyslexic class with stronger abilities. Teacher Jeael says that their main problem is the poorer ability to speak and express themselves. It didn't strike me that this was the case at first, but after interaction with them, I found that it was exactly the case.

The experience wasn't as tough as I expected it to be. The children went to the computer lab today, and saw pictures on the website about the postal service in Singapore; they had "circle time" where they determined the date, day and weather today with the aid of picture cards; they went for a medical check-up; attended a schoolmate's birthday party in the canteen; and went swimming.

There was Si Rong - who was eager to hold every new volunteer's hand; Jon whom I fed the chocolate birthday cake and who was much more expressive in water than on land; Joanne who is asthmatic and stunted in growth but who is so full of energy and character it couldn't have fit into such a small girl; Tiri - the pretty burmese girl with the sweet dimples who was afraid to swim.

Once, at the canteen, when the children were at the birthday party, Tiri was seated and I was beside her. She suddenly leaned towards me and hugged me. At the end of the day, after the children swam and washed up, I was waiting for the rest of the children to finish bathing when Tiri again stretched out her arms towards me. I lowered myself and gave her a hug. Maybe she knew that I may not be back, and I felt bad.

At the end of the day, I figured I will remember the children, but it was the teachers who left an even deeper impression on me. Teacher Jeael is a very pretty young lady, but by the end of the day, she was not only that to me, but a very beautiful person. I would say the same of Teacher Nor and the rest of the teachers who have boundless love and patience for the children. To them, it was almost like every child is normal and every child is their own and deserving of love as all children deserve.

I was really impressed by the teachers and found that they truly embrace the true spirit of education and unconditional love. Forget about famous people as role models. If we were to just look carefully, these beautiful people are ever-deserving to be role models for teachers and everyone else.